Friday 5 February 2016

True Colours

“Turn the volume up, Granny”, yelled Dr Pikeman, “I love Cindy Lauper!”

The halls and corridors of the Blessed Authority were drowning in 80s pop on repeat. Even the hold music was changed at Dr Pikeman’s behest, occasionally interspersed with a bit of Queen's, Another One Bites the Dust.

We cannot confirm rumours that the techy who injected “I want to break free” was granted his wishes.

As the “ferals” of Tripe Island regroup to lick their wounds and plan a response, the Blessed Authority is reportedly sourcing military suppliers for heavy artillery with rumours abounding over the acquisition of a couple of landing craft in readiness.

However, in a classic planning cock-up, the newly acquired vessels exceed the 46x12ft limit of boats on the river and so the head ranger and tolls department have denied the requisite licence plaques.

It is anticipated that the Blessed Authority will be placing these floating troop carriers in a forthcoming boat auction where you will be able to view them through binoculars only, place sealed, final bids and have to remove them within 45 seconds or incur the wrath.

Meanwhile, a planned after-dark sortie to the Blessed Authority’s riverside white elephant hide-out at Tripe aims to take the hulk of Taurus (until recently sleeping with the fishes at the city moorings) back upstream to be used as a barricade across the mouth of the troubled mooring basin; by all accounts it will now pass under Tripe Railway Bridges at all states of the tide.

1 comment:

  1. Some research on the vessels involved has come up with no information until it suddenly became clear that they have been re-branded as wherries!