Sunday 28 February 2016

Eviction notice served on BA member

The Blessed Authority this week obtained an emergency injunction to evict the self-styled rebel leader and all-round bad boy Jim Day from Yeorght House. The brings the total number of eviction notices served to 42, which might be satisfying to some.

Senior members had been warning Day for months about his habit of actually reading the committee papers and asking difficult questions, and tensions reached a crisis point this month when he tried to suggest that the Authority should stop persecuting people and try talking to them instead.

Granny Spokesperson, Emeritus Professor of Social Cleansing and "Chair" of the Blessed Authority is understood to have achieved a state of climax when the vote to evict Day was approved - though the carefully engineered result was never in doubt.

"As an academic, I am passionate about the need for an evidence-based approach to decision making processes" she explained. "That's why, as a new Member, I considered it essential to spend £60,000 on stakeholder surveys to tell me all the things which everybody else already knew."

"However", she continued, "there are times when even environmental scientists should ignore empirical evidence and rational thought, and trust to our baser instincts of fear and loathing. The Members' code of conduct is designed to be used against Members, not by them. Once they've actually read it, and start talking about transparency, openness and the public interest, it's clear that it's time to implement my, what I call, decapitation strategy."

Speaking during a brief interlude between holidays, interim dredging committee chair Mike 'Herbert' Shitake commented that Mr Day was guilty of "all kinds of inappropriate shenanigans wherever he goes" and that he had "provided the means for enemies of the state to destabilise our dear leader, by having impure thoughts. "

"I've no idea why I think this, but I do", he concluded, before wandering off in a confused fug.

The eviction notice, the cost of which is unknown but estimated by Officers to be in the region of "Jesus Christ we really didn't think that one through did we", will take immediate effect.


  1. Ah, 42. The answer to life, the universe and everything. Except the BA.

  2. To the BA and Granny especially,
    Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
    I guess that sin includes,bigotry,arrogance and persecution of your fellow man. Examine your consciences BA ,oh no,wait, I forgot psychopaths have no conscience and no empathy oops sorry. Kindly disregard this message!!!

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