Sunday 25 September 2016

Governance Workshop replaced with Play Day

Blessed Chair Granny Burgess has announced that an important workshop - planned to discuss governance issues - is to be scrapped in favour of a Member/Officer Play Day.

The meeting - originally planned for March - was to focus on governance issues & chairing skills and would be 'specifically tailored' for the Authority's needs. However, the event was delayed until September so that new members could go through their assimilation process before being allowed to join in, to avoid "awkward and embarrassing questions".

The Chair had previously commented that the workshop "would be very useful and important and all members should attend if they possibly could". However, with the governance spotlight shining ever brighter where it isn't wanted, she has decided to cancel the event altogether - citing diary clashes, and apparently oblivious to the irony of a member-requested event on chairing skills being privately cancelled by the Chair.

Hopefully Members will challenge the decision at their meeting this Friday - but don't hold your breath, as it seems to have been accidentally left off the agenda.

Blessed Governance has been in the news several times this year, even receiving national attention in the pages of Private Eye, so it's entirely natural for the puppet regime to try to quell concern by pretending that the problem doesn't exist. "I've spoken to literally several stakeholders" said the Chair, "and all the ones who agree with me say that they are quite happy and can't understand what the fuss is about."

Vice Chairman Sir Dick Peterson and Chief Executive Dr John Pikeman both agreed that the workshop was unnecessary. "There's nothing to see here," said Sir Dick, "but with morale amongst members and staff at an all-time low, we've decided that what we need are more fun days out, rather than these so-called 'useful and important' workshops."

Members enjoyed their annual day out to Why Hill this summer, for example, where they were were able to see first hand the restricted river width and poor road access at the Authority's flagship visitor centre, which is capable of accommodating up to 6 people at a time.

"These Play Days provide a perfect opportunity for members to get together with officers in a less formal but still carefully managed setting" said Dr Pikeman. "We want officers and members to talk to each other, but not to the point where they would make friends on social networks or buy boats in joint names."