Saturday 4 August 2018

And breathe…

Blessed stakeholders are being offered free places on a yoga workshop the Blessed Authority is organising in September.

“I have been practicing yoga for over a decade”, said Dr. Pikeman “and I find it very beneficial when I need to detach myself from the brutality of everyday life and the demands of my work. The Authority is comprehensively letting stakeholders down at every level and I feel that if only they could connect to their higher selves and stop thinking about dredging and spending public money sensibly, we would all be in a better place.”

The yoga workshop takes place on 22nd September at Twitlingham Dogging Park and every disgruntled stakeholder is being offered a free place - with those suffering legal proceedings or planning appeals or enforcement being offered a complimentary head and neck massage as well.

“I can highly recommend yoga as a way of reducing stress”, the newly elected Chair Temper Tantrum chipped in. “Dr Pikeman insists I meditate before every meeting to stop me bursting into tears and calling everyone a bully who doesn’t agree with me.”

Tickets are £10 for gullible Golden Triangle hipsters, all others free of charge.

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