Friday, 20 April 2018

Blessed Temper Tantrums Rock Shaky Peace Process


The Blessed Society ("Friends of the Blessed") was rocked to its foundations recently with the shock resignation from their ranks of Blessed Chair Granny Burgess, along with her ever-loyal pet poodle Dick Bilson.

The surprise move is a protest against an article in The Hamster written by its Chairman “Uncle” Paul Special-Fried, who (as a Blessed Member) is banned from criticism of the Authority under the Burgess Accord, agreed earlier this year after a scathing Peer Review which has been swept under the carpet alongside the previous one.

In his report, Special-Fried suggested that relations between the Blessed Society and Blessed Authority had been difficult at times and said he was sorry that the Society wasn’t given the chance to contribute to the Peer Review.

Keen to dispel any notion of disharmony, the hyper-sensitive and increasingly-deranged emeritus professor flew off on her broomstick in a rage, resigning her membership of the Society and drafting a motion of no-confidence in Special-Fried for Blessed Members to nod through at the next meeting. “I won’t tolerate criticism from these so-called ‘elected’ non-academics” she said. “They can speak their mind, or they can be Blessed Members - but they can’t do both.”

“The Peer Review told me what I wanted to hear and anyone who disagrees with me can go and stand in the corridor” she added.

Blessed Members were left bemused by the outburst. “I thought we'd put all this divisiveness behind us,” said one, “but she’s the absolute bloody limit. Who does she think she is, resigning from the Society on the Authority’s behalf just because somebody contradicts her?”

But former-diplomat Dick Bilson was quick to support his mistress, swiftly cancelling his membership with a strongly worded letter to the Society’s secretary. “Yap yap yap yap yap” he said.

As he left Yeurgh House for the evening, Dr Pikeman was heard muttering “that bloody woman is going to destroy all my hard work” and shaking his head in disbelief.

6 comments:

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  2. She's obviously doing at least as good a job of papering over differences at the Blessed Authority as she did in her day job, covering the Climategate scandal. This is just another fine example of an Authority that has lost complete touch with its stakeholders - and precisely what the Peer Group identified. With all said and done the Blesed Society is pretty benign. Complete reform and clear out the bl**dy lot of them.

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  3. Do we expect Granny to resign from the Blessed Authority shortly?

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    1. *Should* she, or are we *expecting* her to…?

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  5. I understood that Special Fried was really going to make it all different.

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