Thursday, 26 May 2016

Punch and Jury

 
From the Spidery Recording Files #343 in May 2016…

“Damn it, I’m really in trouble now”, Granny sniffed into her mid-morning gin.

“What’s up now?”, asked Dr. Pikeman. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover your tracks for you whatever you get up to, I promise!”

“That pesky Monitoring Officer is allowing a code of conduct case against me to be investigated! I can’t be found guilty, that would ruin my career! I’ll never become Dame Granny if that happens…”

“Never fear, the Doctor is here. I know how to fix that one for you. At the next meeting in May, Members will be asked to rubber stamp an appointment process for the Independent Person who will preside over your code of conduct case. I’ll just tell them that you have to do the interviews with a bit of help from a couple of others, they’re all mostly fast asleep and won’t notice that they’ve put you in charge of appointing your own jury. It’ll be fine.”

“Really John? Can that be done? I get to choose the person who decides if I’m guilty of breaching the code of conduct? That’s brilliant, are you sure the Members won’t notice?”

“I promise you, they won’t notice.”

… recording ends here, probably due to a flat battery …

Well, I hope you all know I'm not kidding you. If you think the Pike blog is full of made up nonsense, think again. Check out the Blessed Authority’s agenda for Friday, 13th May 2016. The Authority resolved to appoint Prof Jacquie Burgess, Sir Peter Dixon and Guy McGregor to conduct interviews for the Independent Person in code of conduct cases. Did the compromised lady in question ever bat an eyelid? No. Did she perhaps put her hand up and say, “Sorry, I might not be the best person to sit in on these interviews as I’m personally compromised”? No. The Authority is as broken as it’s ever been and worse.

Till the next time, when Granny appoints her best chums from the body of Members to help the “independent” person decide her fate…

Keep swimming!

Fenny

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